Silenced

I'm here. I exist. And I am ruined for the ordinary. Extremely busy is the best term. Learning to live in community where you have no controls over your life and time has been challenging but also rewarding! I should be working on my homework but thought I would blog really quickly.

I've been wanting an iPhone for so long now and have been trying I scheme how God is going to get me one. Today I was finally done trying to take control and He fixed a major problem with my phone . He is amazing and I needed to share that!

So Far...

This post is so over due, but life has been crazy busy!

I write this in the early hours of the morning before our schedule starts.

My schedule for today looks a little like this...

5:15am - Alarm goes off, snooze
5:25am - Alarm goes off, snooze
5:35am - Alarm goes off, snooze
5:45am - Get up
6:20am - Blog for a few minutes
6:45am - Breakfast
7:20am - Walk to class by local Presbyterian Church
7:30am - Quiet Time
8:30am - Group Scripture Reading // Steps of Justice
9:15am - Kids Chapel - Where a few of us go and work with the preschool class at the church. I'm on today and will be teaching on forgiveness and love, using "The Prodigal (lost) Son as my illustration/story.
9:45am - Lecture
12:30pm - Lunch
1:00pm - Lunch Cleanup
3:00pm - Dinner Prep
5:30pm - Dinner
6:15pm - Dinner Cleanup
7:30pm - Homework//Reading//Thank you notes

That's what my day will look like. There's not much time to write unless I stay up late or get up early. I happened to get up early, so I decided to update. Emails are always apreciated and I will try responding in a timely manner!

I hope all is well! God is doing a new work in me. He's been revealing to me while I've been here His great love and affection for me! It's powerful when you truly begin to feel and understand His love!

the countdown ends...

I can't believe I leave tomorrow morning. I've been quiet on the blog this week, saying my goodbyes, packing, and getting odds and ends into place. I've been unbelievably blessed through words, gestures, and money from every one and it's now time to go.
This morning was spent at the farmer's market with the family! I had a blast. I will miss them so much. So many friends stopped by to say goodbye. There were laughs, pictures, giveaways, takeaways, and many hugs! Thank you for all who have shared and loved with me!

I have raised over 5K and I'm so close to my goal! I will get there, because my God will provide! Thank you for all your prayers and blessings!

Here is where I will be staying:

You can reach me on skype, instagram, twitter, foursquare! Haha, I have too many social media outlets! 

See everyone on the interwebs!

7 Questions #2

I'm linking up with Gentri Lee today for 7 Questions

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1. Do you ever have reoccurring dreams?
Yes, one that comes to mind is getting into a car as a young child and being chased by cops on a highway. Car chase scenes in movies are my favorites... hmm
2. It's the first day of Fall (or Spring for you southern hemispherers) in a few days, what are you looking forward to most?
Sweaters, boots, leggings, scarfs, falling leaves, smells, cookies, hot chocolate, chai, pumpkin spice latte, reading, rainy days.
3. Because a lack of coordination, would you rather not be able to tie your shoes or cut your own food?
Tie my shoes. I always wear slip ons or just slip on my shoes. :)
4. Would you rather live in a house made entirely of glass or a house with no windows?
Entirely of glass. You can put curtains up, but no windows is no fun.
5. Would you rather walk on you toes or heels forever?
Toes. I love dancing on my toes.
6. What's your favorite sense? (you have 5 btw)
Listening.
7. What's your favorite movie quote of all time?
This isn't fair... I have too many. Probably the entire "Remember the Titans". I can quote 95% of the movie. I get in trouble when watching it the with the family.

In One Week!

Matthew 19:26

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

²⁶ And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

In one week, I will be in North Carolina!
In one week, I will be starting my YWAM training.

In one day, I raised a little over 1000. I cried. A lot. My church family was so generous, with their words of wisdom, hugs, and their giving. People who I know this will be a major sacrifice. They have blessed me so much! I have raised enough for the training portion, now I'll just keep praying for provision for my outreach. My God is a good God.

I talked last week about the "magic of God." It isn't magic, but miracles. And a miracle happened this week. I believed God, and I saw his promise come true in a matter of minutes!

In one week, I'll be starting a new adventure with the One I love. My savior Jesus Christ. Who has never left me, nor forsaken me but loves me more than I will ever fathom.

AMEN!

Expectations Part 2

Yesterday I shared with you WHO WHAT and WHY about my upcoming YWAM trip. Which is in 10 days! (Ok, breathe Lauren, just breathe!)

Now onto Where When and How.

WHERE? -- I will be in Monroe, North Carolina for the first three months. Then overseas for the next 2.5 months. YWAM has bases all over the world and I chose YWAM-Charlotte because I had a deep connection with one of the staff members. She called me and checked up on me continually just to chat, see how was I doing, how she could pray for me, etc. That meant a lot. And I knew, that was what I needed. I also love NC. It's one of my favorite states. My grandparents live a few hours away, so for the holidays, I can stay with them.

We (as in the incoming YWAMers) won't find out where we are going until we are in North Carolina. I'm excited about this unknown piece of the puzzle. I mean hello! I have to plan out all my days, and this is just a great way for me to exercise patience, trust, and the knowledge that it will all work out alright!
As soon as I found out where I'm going, I promise I will let you know!

WHEN? -- I will be gone from September 23rd - March 9. My plane back to NE is March 11. I should have stayed longer with the grandparents in NC. I get Thanksgiving and Christmas off, which is awesome, because of fore mentioned relatives. Follow my travels on instagram @lmwilliams2009 and twitter @ ren_was_here.

HOW?? -- This is the question I've been dreading because reality hits and I realize it's only by the grace of God I've come so far.

If you have read earlier posts, it comes down the money. Which has been coming in. Just slower than I thought. I thought the flood gates would open and pour down a blessing of gigantic proportions. But, that's now how it has happened. The Lord reminded me yesterday that it's not about if He provides, but that He will provide. That is so scary for me! Because I realized that my thought process went more like this:

I will believe God will provide if checks keep pouring in. Instead, I believe God will provide (no ifs).

I can't expect "snapping of fingers" and "poof" the money magically will appear. But, with that being said, my God will provide.

Ok, I really have ignored the HOW!

Because I am willing, and HE will provide.

Want to see an old blog I didn't even know I had until a few minutes ago? The URL is renwashere.blogspot.com. I always wondered who had taken it!!?? I didn't even remember setting this up. I wonder if I have an email address with that name? Hmm... :)

As always, let me know if you can support @ lmwilliams2009(@)gmail(.)com

7 Questions #1

I'm linking up with Gentri Lee: 7 Questions

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1. Do you have any weird food combinations that you love?
I like swirling greek yogurt in my oatmeal. Is that even weird?
2. Have you ever written a blog post, published it, then immediately deleted it?
I just have the tendency to unpublish versus deleting because I found errors.
3. What is a hair style you wish you could pull off, but would never be brave enough to try?
Short and curly. I think I could rock it. But for the umpteenth time, I'm trying to grow out my hair.
4. Would you rather have to always use the sun to tell the time or directions by the stars?
Directions by the stars. I still couldn't tell you time by the sun. Also, how cool would it be to understand my ancestors then learning how to follow directions via the stars.
5. What is a fall trend that you are excited to try?
Mixed jean prints. But, I'm not spending any money, so if someone would like to send me a pair, I'd be more than happy to rock the trend.
6. Who is your style icon?
Lauren Conrad. Various bloggers. Zoeey Deschenel
7. What's your favorite outdoor activity?
Soccer and hiking.

Expectations Part 1



via bing search


I pretended to hate those 5 w's and the h. But, secretly I loved and adored them. I remember as a first grader learning them, and knowing that in order to answer correctly, most, if not all of these facets needed to be used.

So, I thought I would answer these questions about YWAM! Today I will talk about WHO WHAT and WHY. Tomorrow I will talk about the Where When and How

WHO? -- That would be me. I'm a 25 year old, single gal, who is ready to experience what this World has to offer. I had such big goals in college 1) Traveling the world 2) Living an adventerous life.  I think you get the point. Then I graduated and I got sucked into the idea that you need to have the perfect job to earn the perfect amount of money that will get you all the things you need and desire and get married...

I hate living in boxes... I'm back to the original goals, 3 years later. Me = soon to be world traveler. I want to go South America, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda, India, South Africa, Europe (yes all of it), Japan, Cambodia, San Fransisco. Are you getting the idea?

WHAT? -- What is YWAM? I'm so glad you asked. It stands for Youth With A Mission. A mission for what? Knowing God, and making Him known. Not by passing out tracts but showing love through service to the least of these. If you want more information, please visit their website. It's very informative. If you want to know the beginnings, I suggest you pick up a copy of Is That Really You God? by Loren Cunningham. It's a beautiful tale of a man who followed God with all his heart and saw the world change. YWAM has bases all around the world with many differen't "schools" and emphasis. Every person, young or old, starts out with a DTS (Discipleship Trainining School). Some of these DTS's will have a theme or focus like mine. I'm doing Justice & Mercy -- learning about human trafficking, etc. Others are just a DTS.

WHY? -- Why YWAM? Simply, I heard God say go. I've learned that ignoring God, just lengthens the time between being miserable and joyful. I want to go. I need to go. I have to go. And I'm going! That's why. :)

Stay tuned for expectations part 2 tomorrow... If you have any questions you can reach me via
twitter: @ren_was_here
email: lmwilliams2009(@)gmail(.)com
or leave a comment!

12000 Views

This is crazy talk people. My little spot has generated 12000 views since it's birth in 2006? For a person who doesn't do a lot of advertising, this is huge!

Today has been one of those crappy days. Very crappy days. Like everything goes wrong crappy days.

#1 - Forgot to set my alarm due to yesterday being Labor Day // Had to get ready in 15 minutes (no shower for me :()
#2 - Spilled coffee all over my brand new sweater I bought this weekend
#3 - My hair is completely frizzed out
#4 - I forgot my wallet at home (my mom came out twice to work to help me out)
#5 - JJ charged me way too much for my food


I know most of these are superficial things. Maybe that's why I'm not sitting on the floor having a good cry. Maybe that's why instead of defeat I feel victorious! Life is awesome. I prayed for joy. And I have it! Thank you Lord for answering a prayer that seemed minuscule and selfish.

Short but sweet. Will be updating my list and a progress report on my $$!

Future of Blog

I've written on this blog since 2006. Needed an outlet while I was in college, then I just liked sharing. Tried sponsoring other blogs and reaching out to other bloggers. This blog is going back to it's roots.

I'm now using this as a way to share to my friends and family who want to follow along in my journey as a missionary in training.

On the 23rd of this month, I embark on a new chapter of my life. I would almost come close to saying a new book. A long time in the making, but, I'm more than excited, I'm estatitic!

Please stop by and say hi, I will and try and update this blog as much as I can. If you would like to sponsor me, please email me at lmwilliams2009(at)gmail(dot)com!

God Bless,
Lauren

my God will provide

Sometimes, I'm scared.
I'm scared I won't raise enough money.
Scared that I'm not doing what God wants me to do.
Then I realize, that My God will provide.
He will make a way.
Why is my faith so small.
I try to put God into this box.
He is the all-powerful, miraculous God.
I'm doing a No-Spend September. Like nothing. I have a few GC I can use, but that's it.
Unless the money is going towards my trip.
But, is that enough?
Am I being lazy?
Is there something God wants me to be doing that I'm not?

Praying for more faith daily. God will provide.

Currently #1

Currently, I am... 

Listening: The folk radio station on Spotify. I adore music.

Reading: Paradise Valley by Dale Cramer (It was free on amazon, reading via amazon kindle), it's pretty good so far. It's a compelling amish tale. 

Watching: This Means War. I rented it via amazon. I thought it was cute. Tom Hardy is dreamy, maybe it's just the accent. I also just saw Bourne Legacy. It was good.

Thinking about: the list of things I have to do... and maybe a No SPEND September! Save some $$

Anticipating: YWAM - 24 days! Also, first husker game of the season on Saturday. GO BIG RED! That's me from a few years ago in my one and only Husker shirt

Wishing: My packages I ordered on Friday would get here already!

Making me happy:  The realization that my dream is becoming reality!

Weekly Goals 1

8.27 - 9.2

1 // 2 // 3 // 4


1. Finish odds and ends in my bedroom

2. Catch up on Soul Detox and #shereadstruth in proverbs... I'm so behind (You can find both reading plans at youversion.com)

3. Start packing... I've been laying things out, I'm just waiting for my suitcase from leftlanesports.com, I hope it's big enough!

4. Revamp blog... I've already started, what do you think of the new header and background?

5. Keep up water intake... I did really well yesterday, I'm a bit behind today

6. 30 Day Shred : Daily... So far, so good!

7. Jean shopping... not looking forward to it

8. Craft and notebook shopping... to make my notebooks and bracelets

9. Make bracelets.. I've found so many ideas via pinterest

10. Make notebooks from Wild Olive

UPDATE // 26 Days Till YWAM

I think I have my counting wrong on FB. Oh well! I will get this right! Here's an update on what I need to accomplish before leaving.


1. Mail Letters - I've mailed out many but still have more to mail out - Need to print, get more stamps and envelopes (If you would like to receive a support letter please email me at lmwilliams2009{at}gmail{dot}com) (4 to send)
2. Order Glasses from Warbyparker.com (I know, I've been planning this since February) (They are in the mail! I hope they work)
3. Order Contacts (online hopefully)
4. Contact Health Insurance to see if I'm covered overseas / Get overseas insurance if needed.
5. Make magnets or cards with prayer points
6. Mail my deposit and check
7. Mail items I have of other people (I should probably get addresses!)
8. Email Doc (my choir director to let him know I won't be in choir this year)
9. Buy Backpack (Bought it on REI Outlet Online)
10. Make TY Cards for Sponsors
11. Plan Party - need ideas!
12. Jeans - Thrifting should do the trick...
13. Unmentionables (Thank's to Kohl's for a great sale)
14. Close WF bank account - Can't stand WF! (Decided to keep it open)
15. Purge Items - I still have some clothes and about 50 books to get rid of!
16. Cancel Birchbox/Beauty Army (I was sad to see my Birchbox go! I really liked it! Beauty Army - not so much)
17. Cancel Netflix (It ends on the 28th of August - Need to finish #drwho)
18. Buy long skirts (Got one on sale @ Kohl's and a friend gave me another one!)
19. Cancel extra insurance phone insurance @ Best Buy
20. Buy running shoes / tennis shoes (Awesome deal plus discount @ Famous Footwear)
21. Get my hair done
22. Leather Journal - not a want, just a need (Going to decorate some composition books instead, they are on sale at Target!)
23. Buy Plane Ticket to NC (Accomplished 8.16! - Believing God will provide for the rest of the money).
24. Toiletries - Things I need
25. Need Bandanas
26. Need an alarm clock
27. Buy sleeping bag (Another REI sale!)
28. Buy thermarest (Backcountry Edge.com had a sale on these super expensive items)
29. Create mailing list - halfway done
30. Get immunization card
31. Get two passport photo's for visa
32. Buy Suitcase (leftlanesports.com)

16/32 - Halfway done with the list, and I added one as well!
26 days till I leave!

YWAM TO DO LIST // I Just Bought My Plane Ticket

I leave for YWAM in 37 days. I can't believe it. My to do list is out of control! I have over 30 things! Let's see what I have to do, and what I've gotten done!

1. Mail Letters - I've mailed out many but still have more to mail out - Need to print, get more stamps and envelopes (If you would like to receive a support letter please email me at lmwilliams2009{at}gmail{dot}com
2. Order Glasses from Warbyparker.com (I know, I've been planning this since February)
3. Order Contacts (online hopefully)
4. Contact Health Insurance to see if I'm covered overseas / Get overseas insurance if needed.
5. Make magnets or cards with prayer points
6. Mail my deposit and check
7. Mail items I have of other people (I should probably get addresses!)
8. Email Doc (my choir director to let him know I won't be in choir this year)
9. Buy Backpack (Bought it on REI Outlet Online)
10. Make TY Cards for Sponsors
11. Plan Party - need ideas!
12. Jeans - Thrifting should do the trick...
13. Unmentionables (Thank's to Kohl's for a great sale)
14. Close WF bank account - Can't stand WF!
15. Purge Items - I still have some clothes and about 50 books to get rid of!
16. Cancel Birchbox/Beauty Army (I was sad to see my Birchbox go! I really liked it! Beauty Army - not so much)
17. Cancel Netflix (It ends on the 28th of August - Need to finish #drwho)
18. Buy long skirts (Got one on sale @ Kohl's and a friend gave me another one!)
19. Cancel extra insurance phone insurance @ Best Buy
20. Buy running shoes / tennis shoes (Awesome deal plus discount @ Famous Footwear)
21. Get my hair done
22. Leather Journal - not a want, just a need
23. Buy Plane Ticket to NC (Accomplished 8.16! - Believing God will provide for the rest of the money).
24. Toiletries - Things I need
25. Need Bandanas
26. Need an alarm clock
27. Buy sleeping bag
28. Buy thermarest
29. Create mailing list - halfway done
30. Get immunization card
31. Get two passport photo's for visa

8/31 Done - yikes!

It's an epic list that needs to get accomplished. It's just stressing me out! But, God's word says in Phil. 4:10 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! If you would like to support me financially, please email me at lmwilliams2009@gmail.com. Prayer also works wonders!


I just bought my plane ticket without having any money come in yet. I'm not worried, I'm putting all my trust in Jesus! I'm very excited. I can't fear, because I have complete faith in God's destiny for me!

It's Official!

I leave for North Carolina in less than two months. I'm going on a six-month adventure if you call it --

I'm just so excited, it's becoming real. I will be headed to YWAM Charlotte in less than 60 days. I haven't raised any money yet, and I'm not fearful, but full of faith! God is sending me, He will provide! I just finished writing my sponsor letter, I need to buy paper to print and envelopes. Then off they will go. I can't believe it. I've been planning this moment for so long, but now it's becoming a reality! Praise God! I am believing in Him to bring in a substantial amount of money! It's crazy! But all things are possible through Christ!

I leave september 23rd. I will stay in Charlotte (Monroe - Suburb of Charlotte) for 3 months of training, then will spend 6 months out on the mission field!

If you have any questions please comment and tell me if you've every been, plan on going on a missions trip, or if you are interested in knowing more about YWAM!

In His Name,
Lauren

#nospendweek

I think all my titles will be hash tags this week!

I'm doing a no spend week starting today, I've already planned all my meals, purchased the groceries and done some minor prep.

I spent a lot of money in preparation, but my costs should go down since a lot of these items won't need to be purchased. Let's see how I do.

Follow me on twitter to see my tweets using #nospendweek.
Wanna join? I'd love to struggle conquer this week together!

Pride

I have this thing that boils inside me when I think I am wronged.
Pride!
I hate pride. I'm not a fan of it, but it grabs on to me like a leech, slowly sucking the life out of me. Not really, but I am a completely different person when I'm battleing with pride.
I was suppose to start my juice fast today, but pride got in the way. I haven't spoke to my co-worker, because pride is in the way. It's my feeling of needing to be mad for the sake of being wronged, whether that person knows or not.
Pride... Is something I need to give to God, but that would mean admitting I'm in the wrong. I don't want to be in the wrong.
Wow, long tangent/rant....
Do you struggle with pride?

Living upside down

I feel a little bit of relief at the end of the tunnel.
I've been running around, being busy.
Im glad I don't work tomorrow. I need a break. I also need some me time. Wishful thinking. I also need to forgive some people I have no desire to forgive, even though they haven't asked forgiveness... I still need to!

Are you swamped down by things. Or are you finding time to recharge?

Sick, Fat, & Nearly Dead - A Review

Wow, I know I'm sensitive and emotional. But, this movie really made me take a step back. In a good way.

A little background, I knew the benefits of eating a micronutrient diet, but I didn't want to go through the process of changing.

Synopsis from Netflix:
"Focusing on two men whose bodies have been trashed by steroids, obesity and illness, this documentary chronicles the rigorous healing path -- including a two-month diet of fruits and vegetables -- that both attempt in a bid to rescue their health."

I don't have much to say about it except for every American who is struggling with their weight in any way should watch this documentary. It isn't ever boring, and it's inspirational. I'm not saying everyone needs to go buy a juicer, but we should start viewing food in a different light.

Side note: I know in a previous post I talked about giving up netflix, but I decided to start saying no and doing other things. And, I have! I think something every once in a awhile I can handle. But, when it is taking up all of my free time, I have to say enough is enough! 

This movie has really jump started my desire to do at least a mini fast. Next week, my church has 3 days of prayer and fasting, and I think a 3 day juice fast would be perfect! So, I'm getting my hands on a juicer, saving my pennies and will do some grocery shopping this Saturday and Sunday to prepare for my 3 day juice fast! I know I can do it, and I know 3 days is a short time, but, with me trying to save money, it's a good place to start!

Anyone else see Sick, Fat, & Nearly Dead? What were your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? Have you done any juice fasting? I'd love to hear from you!

Why Quitting Isn't an Option

I've tried to lose weight. I've even shared a bit on my blog, but after a few minor hiccups I get back into the rut of self-doubt.

But, I can't quit. Being overweight runs in my family. Diabetes runs in my family. Heart disease runs in my family. Get the picture? Yeah, me too. I'm about to leave home for 6 months and I don't want to leave here feeling defeated.

Here's my cry, my plea to myself. Enough is enough. I'm letting go of fear, self-doubt and the pity party that has clung on to me (or should I say, I have clung onto it) for dear life!

This weekend will be filled with researching and planning. Next week I plan to do a juice fast, and the week after that I'm ready to dive head first into a new and better lifestyle!

I can't do this on my own. Encouragement is wanted. If you have tips or words of hope, please share!

Happy birthday USA

God bless America!

Musings

Today, was just a typical day at work. I was kept busy the entire time. I was asked if I wanted to go on a trip for work that would last 30-60 days.

I really wanted the money. This was an answer to prayer, or so I thought. I didn't go. There were many factors involved to get that answer.

#1 I need to get ready for YWAM that will be here before I know it.
#2 God said I was to rely fully on Him. I could hear His voice urging me to stay.
#3 that would have given me very little time to spend with my family.

This made me realize. I need to always be ready for whatever God is calling me too. Not slowly ready, not kinda. I've been doing that. I don't even know what YWAM school I'm going too and its in two months.

What are you procrastinating, as soon as you do it you will have accomplished something major?

Life is good.

Deleted my Facebook. What a weight lifted off my shoulders. I feel laziness calling me back to a life of leisure. But I hear another voice, Jesus, calling me to a life of love and action, void of lethargy.

Life should never get in the way of Jesus, because Jesus is my life.

How do you counteract the "lazies?"

new perspectives

I've always had problems keeping up with a blog. It's because I've had no direction, but recently God has given me vision.

In in a previous post I talked about how superficial I had become. This blog shouldn't talk about material things, but the things God has put into my life.
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This past week I went to Desperation Conference (google it!). It was my seventh time going, and it didn't disappoint. Here are my thoughts right after the conference ended.

As always, I'm sad to see Desperation end. It's such a great atmosphere to seek and hear the voice of God. But for some, it's a crutch. You get this mountain top experience, where everything is so easy. And life isn't easy. Every year I hear God speak to me and every year as soon as I get home, I choose to ignore God. Why have I feared living for the One who chose to die for me? Things of this world seem so petty. God has called me for so much more. Before (going to) YWAM, I need to purge myself of all the distractions and junk. And give up the things that take the place of Jesus. He [Jesus] has called me to fast and give up social media (bye bye Facebook). He has called me to give up and surrender my thoughts, to give up wasting time on movies and tv (or hulu/netflix). To stop wasting money on silly items that bring me no joy. The only thing I should be focused is Jesus. To know him, and make him known. Not shopping, not social media, not media. No more living for myself. I hate being so selfish! I hate ignoring YOU (God) and seeking enjoyment in things that don't sustain me. No more Hulu, no more Netflix - nore more facebook - no more shopping - I will spend the rest of my life in total surrender!

Procrastinators of the World...

Ok, I have to be honest with you...

Ok, I'm always honest...

I had a very, very productive week. Until today. I feel like I'm falling apart at the seems. Not spiritually, not emotionally, not even mentally, but physically. I've been going for so long, that the energizer bunny  that adventured out, has very subtly crawled back in.

God has revealed so much to me this week. (mainly last night)

But, one thing is for sure. I'm a bit superficial. And when you learn new things (or revelations... I like that word better), you get tired. Like really tired. Like lazy don't-give-a-care-to-anything-tired.

I keep making promises to God and myself that I can't keep. I think God's the only one we can and should fully trust. Not even ourselves.

This post seems like it's all over the place. But, I'm back in full circle to where I started. My productive week has run back the opposite way of all the runners running their race, looking for a place to hide and rest. There are so many things I must do tonight, which will make for a late night, and tomorrow's early morning will be even earlier, which makes tomorrow an even longer day.

I say this all to say, even when you're tired giving up is the last thing you should do. I've been doing it for far too long. Even when I was tired this week, and didn't feel like pushing through, I still pushed (harder even). Today has been a different story. I'm tired of pushing. I'm tired of tasking.

I'm yawning as I say this. So, here's to my last morsel of procrastination. I'm shaking it off! Ok, back to the task(s) at hand!

Do you procrastinate or push through?

C is for Conference (one week)

I'm linking up with these two blogs: Miss Indie and Elizabeth Hayley

Obsessing over Subscription boxes... I know, I'm completely behind the times. Subscription boxes are boxes filled with samples. The samples are usually chosen for you, after filling out a survey I subscribed to bulu box, all about health and fitness. I got my box free for being one of the first 500 subscribers. I believe they are still offering that promotion. Totally got hooked up! Got my box the other day. Need to make some time to do a review! Then there's birchbox. This is a beauty box. I've been seeing this everywhere around the blogosphere. Just hadn't gotten around to signing up aka I was on the waiting list. It should arrive by Thursday! I'm totally stoked! Then today, I spent some more money! I know, shocking? It's called (wait, hold on, I have to check my email, oh geez) Beauty Army, you get to pick out 6 samples and then they send them to you. Beachmint products. There's this whole line of subscription services you can sign up for in this Beachmint empire. They include: StyleMint, ShoeMint, HouseMint, BeautyMint, BodyMint, IntiMint. Thankfully, I haven't fallen off the wagon and gone crazy in ordering things from these websites. I haven't ordered a single thing. But, I've been close, more than once!

Working on YWAM APPS... I'm finally getting my act together. It's been a long road, but I gave myself an incentive. I had to get all my applications finished and submitted by 9pm on June 25th, I can go to Jazz in June (June 26th) and I get to buy something for myself $30 or under. Friendship Bracelets... I really want some bracelets to adorn my arms this summer!

Thinking about my face... there are more mysterious bumps appearing. I'm hoping it's just irritation or a bug bite, :/

Listening to Relevant Podcast... This is seriously the best thing! It makes me laugh, smile, think, and quickly pass an hour.

Wishing for Desperation Conference. One more week!

Update on My Face

Remember this post?

My appointment was this past Monday (I know, I'm horrible for not writing this right after it happened.)

Well...

The biopsy showed it to be benign lymphoma. Phew. I wasn't worried. But, still, I'm glad it's nothing worse.

The appointment went splendid. We planned on surgery to extract this mass and get on with the day. For added measure we pumped my cheek up with some cortisone. She said it would hurt. It didn't!

So, thank the Lord above, all is well. I even got a call letting me know my surgery was canceled. We're going to keep pumping my face with cortisone until this thing says adios!

It's gone down considerably! I must say, God is looking out for me!

What are your praise reports this week?

Saturday

I don't blog during the weekends. Usually because I'm off doing something. But, today, I'm home and I may have just woken up less than an hour ago.

I have quite a few things I want to accomplish this afternoon. But, my body's in a state of comatose. My dreams last night were bizzare and left me wanting to stay in dream land vs the real world. My goal, which is attainable is to get all my "grunt work" accomplished so I have a few hours to spend sewing. Something I just haven't made time for. As well as a run before I head out to Celebrate Lincoln tonight! I will get to see an old college roommate! I'm very excited about it.

What are your weekend plans? Also, what are some hints for a non photographer remember to take pictures to document life?

B is for Boisterious

I'm linking up with these two blogs: Miss Indie and Elizabeth Hayley

Obsessing over Dr. Who. Seriously, this show is fantastic! If you can get past the first episode! I mean, I've never liked science fiction this much. It always scared me. Now, I can't wait to play the next episode. I'm watching it right now! I really like my new thirty one bag. It was rather pricey but very good quality. Wedges. I just got my toes done, so I feel I can share my feet with the world... But, in all seriousness I've purchased three new pairs! Can't wait to show them off. Maxi skirts/dresses. They are awesome and great to wear with wedges! Diet Dr. Pepper. I can't get enough of this stuff. My sister asked if she could taste it. She hates diet and said it tasted just like the real thing. HAH! The real thing she says. 

Working on getting my act together when it comes to eating right, drinking water and exercising. Songs for my friends wedding next weekend. An overdue mother's day present for my mother. Creating new outfits. 

Thinking about how I need to work on YWAM applications. Finishing my room. Getting rid of all my junk.

Listening to Old school Justin Timberlake. When does he drop his new album?

Wishing for summer nights with old friends.

A is for Absence

I know, I think about blogging all the time. But, blogging is an art. I'm still a dabbler, not yet an artist!

So many new things in my life! I have so many photos I need to upload and stories to tell.

Where to begin.

Let's start with my face...

Face?

Yes, my face. You see about a month ago a "pimple" appeared on my face, after what looked like a bug bite. I didn't think much of it, except it was annoying and on the larger side. Two weeks later...

It's still there! Yep, with no signs of slowing down. My dad thought maybe I should go to Urgent Care. So, my mom and I darted there to check things out. The RN or whoever the "non-doctor" was barely looked at it and proclaimed it a "cyst". I asked her what could be done, and she declared she wasn't the one to work on it, and made an appointment with a dermatologist (in real life that word is a more difficult word for me to say). I asked how long till that appointment and she said around 2-3 weeks. I exclaimed, "That long?"

One week later, I had my appointment. Again, I met with "the nurse", I believe she was a nurse practitioner, very nice. She weighed the pros and cons and decided to take a culture to see if the growing mass on my face was indeed staph infection. Before I knew what was happening, the chair was being lowered and a needle was approaching my face. NOVOCAINE! For all you out there in reader land, I have never experienced this drug. (Cavity free for 25 years and counting). She said it wouldn't hurt. It did. She also didn't say there would be discomfort after the numbing wore off. There was. I was given a prescription for antibiotics, a handful of dot band-aids and an appointment in two weeks.

A week later they called. It wasn't staph.

The bump was a tad smaller but it started turning red again and looked quite inflamed.

Yesterday. Went to my appointment and "the nurse" tried not to look concerned. She was about to pump a few shots of cortisone to reduce the swelling, but then stopped and started thinking out loud. She then took a 180 an decided to take a sample for a biopsy. Before, I could say "dermatologist," I was whisked away into the magic wonderland of numb cheek. This time there were stitches involved. When I was done, I looked like a patient after a small plastic surgery procedure. People stared. A lot. I actually liked the attention. Especially the children. They couldn't stop staring.

Last night, I took off the huge bandage. I looked like the beginnings of Frankenstein. The stitches come out in a week. The test comes back in week. The wedding I sing in is in less than 2 weeks.

I'm just praying this "cyst" isn't going to be much more of a nuisance, it's been here long enough!

What juicy story do you have for me?

My Summer

I have so many fun ideas I want to do for Summer, but with my job as chaotic as it is, I'm not sure exactly what I will get to do. Here are things on the Calendar so far!

June: 14th - 16th - Wedding Weekend with my friend Lauren - I have the lovely honor of singing at her wedding

27th - 30th - Desperation! The best conference in the world! Just sayin!

July: Empty
August: Empty
September: YWAM

Wow, so I need to fill my summer a bit. Here are some things I'm looking forward to:
Summer Concerts/Festivals: Celebrate Lincoln Ethnic Festival, Jazz in June, Maha Music Festival in August (Omaha)
Farmer's Market(s)
Picnics
Road trips to KC
State Fair(s) - Iowa (August 9th -19th), Nebraska (August 24th - September 3rd)
Omaha Day Trips
College World Series, Salt Dog Games
Amusement Park Road Trip??

June 8th - The Midland Band (Bourbon)
June 21st - Orion Walsh (The Zoo Bar)
July 3rd - Avett Brothers
July 24th - Logic
July 25th - Childish Gambino (Kansas City Mo)
August 1 - The Black Keys
August 5th - Gavin Degraw
August 7/10 - Coldplay (Roadtrip anyone?)

Wednesday

If you haven't read yesterday's post, go read it. I'll wait. Ok, ready?

Yesterday morning was hard. Really hard. But after my realization/revelation, I can see clearly now.

 Here's how yesterday went:

woke up (630am)

went to worksite (second day in a row to be the first one there -- that is rare)

ate a mid-morning snack of m&ms

took a picture of the skyline/horizon

came to the hotel ate lunch (leftover from Ricardo's)

picked up a the brand new flavor of starbucks frapp (accidently took a little kids -- I felt really bad -- I didn't drink mine till he got his new one)

went back to worksite

returned to the hotel (had to take shower because it was so HUMID)

went out to eat at Bailey's with the co-workers (amazing steak dinner)

then went to the movies! (the movie wasn't for awhile, so we played some video games. I’m not very good at those shooting ones!) -- OMG 21 Jumpstreet is hilarious -- WARNING -- It is very inappropriate but sooooooooooooo funny. My co-worker did end up tagging along. We laughed so hard. I kept choking after I laughed, he complained of a tummy ache from laughing so hard.

went back to the hotel, ate some popcorn and took some sleeping pills -- I was out

all pictures were taken with my phone through instagram -- follow me @lmwilliams2009

tuesday // singleness

This blogging thing is getting easier. Much easier. my Tuesday was not as eventful as Monday, but here's what I did!

woke up at the holiday inn (actually at 6am)

picked up a scooters (iced coffee with a shot of espresso and milk -- disgust)

went to worksite

tried crystal light ice tea (lemon flavor)

lunch in the hotel room (wings from last night)

picked up big cup at the local gas station

came back to work

dinner at ricardo's

chilled in hotel room working on church work while watching drive (do not recommend movie)

restless sleep

I told you it was uneventful...

But, what I'm really here to talk about is singleness. You probably know by now, that I'm single. I'm not rejoicing or complaining. There are moments in my life where I'm sad that I have no significant other and then there are times, like this morning when I'm glad I'm single.

I'm tired. I mean physically and mentally tired. I haven't had much time to find rest. I have so much caffiene in the morning and afternoon to keep me going, that my mind is still racing at the end of the day. So, when my body is ready to shut down, my brain hasn't quite got the message.

Where are you going with this Lauren, you may ask. This morning (Wednesday), I was tired, like don't talk to, look at or think of me tired. Yesterday, I had made the proclamation that I was going to treat myself to a nice steak dinner and then go to a movie (21 Jump Street -- Is it any good, has anyone seen it?). My co-worker says, "Oh I may join you for that movie." And then proceeds to ask the rest of our co-workers if they would like to come. First of all, I don't mind if you come, but I had declared I was going alone and it would be my first movie alone in the theaters! It had taken a lot of time for me to come to terms that I can go to a movie alone. But, alas, no one else wanted to go.

This morning, I realized I was getting agitated about the smallest things. Why? Because I'm tired! I'm really tired. The kind of tired where all I want to do is go curl up in a ball and cry -- Because I'm so tired! I think I already stated I was tired. At the moment of my agitation, I wanted to look at my co-worker and say, I'd rather go to this movie alone. I'm an introvert by nature, extrovert by choice. I just haven't had enough time to recharge -- alone! That's when it hit me, I'm selfish. In those small moments of complete exhaustion I have no patience. None. Not even a smidge. My stress levels rise to boiling point. My words are few and biting. My sarcasm becomes a mean of hurting vs. a mean of witt. Deep breathing works. No wonder I'm still single! When I'm dating someone, I spend a lot of time and emotion on that one person, and I snap. Really, I do. Every time. I get so worked up about the smallest things because I'm so TIRED!

I write all this to say -- I'm single for a reason. A God reason. That reason being, I need to learn to go with the flow when I'm "give up" tired. My patience has grown. My temper has softened. My temperment has improved. My tolerance level of annoyance is at an all-time low -- Except when I'm tired.

Whew, writing this all out has calmed me down to state of pure comatose. It's like I just ate that candy bar I shouldn't have eaten and that moment triggers the pleasure centers in my brain, which are doing a happy dance. It's always a good feeling when you've discovered a problem and a solution.

Of course, I'm not perfect. I do have moments of terror (me being the terror) when I'm not tired, but they are few and very far between. But, the inner turmoil during deep exhaustion has been an ongoing struggle for as long as I can remember.

Is he coming to the movie with me tonight? I'm not sure. And it doesn't matter.

Boy, am I tired.

Now, I just need to solve the not sleeping problem.

Monday

My monday was fantastic!

woke up

finished packing

went to walgreens - got some needed makeup

stopped at starbucks -- iced coffee (i <3 summer)

drove to norfolk -- in record time (norfolk nebraska)

listened to some awesome podcasts -- Relevant Magazine and Boundless.org

stopped at jimmy johns

went to worksite (worked a total of 9 hrs -- 2.5 drive)

started a very interesting book

checked into the hotel -- (priority club status)

went out to eat (big red keno -- it was the closest place to eat)

had wings -- teryakki

chilled in the hotel room -- watched horrible bosses

proofread a co-workers paper

fell asleep

All in all, my monday made me smile!

How was your monday?
Have instagram? follow me @lmwilliams2009 and twitter @ren_was_here

Whistle while you work

This weekend I came home, took my sister to all of her events, went to church, hung out with some cool peeps, and got no work done. I'm enjoying being on location for work, but I will be glad when this is all over. I need a routine. I'm working on my summer bucket list. It's long. I'm excited. I'm writing this on my iPod so, this is just a short post.
What was your weekend like?

News // Wish List

I'm not sure if I've said much about my new job, but I started it right after I got back from NYC. Oh, I haven't talked much about that? I haven't had time to compile all the pictures, but that post will be coming soon. I started my new job a few short weeks ago, and let's just say, I'm making some money! Finally. The light at the end of the tunnel was a search party, they were looking for me, and they found me! God is good!

Well, since starting my new job, I have saved some, payed off a CC, and I've put in a ton of overtime these past two weeks. I'm currently out of town for work, and it's been nice getting some much time to myself. Too bad I couldn't get it at home. But, there's no point in moving out. I am planning on going on a  six month missions trip this fall. Oh, wait, I haven't really talked about that either? Man, I'm behind the times. I'm missing blogging so much, that's why my posts have been so sporadic. I'm ok with that, at least for now! But, with making money gives me the insatiable (I spelled that right the first time!) desire to spend it. So, I've done a little wish list:

1) Beach Body: Brazilian Butt Lift

I watched the infomercial for about a half hour. But, Beach Body is pretty credible. I think that may be a good investment. Any one try it?

2) Omaha Color Run

I have to do this, it's only a 5K and I'll be able to run the whole thing! Woohoo!

3) A New Bike -- I want a cruiser with gears!

4) iPhone 4S (White) 32GB by Sprint (too bad I can't get a new one for another year)

Random Blurps

I was thinking today how random and odd I was. 


I'm ok with that btdubs!


But, here are just a few weird things about me:

• I usually get on an elevator and forget to push the button for the correct floor. Once I stood there for a minute trying to figure out what was going on.
• I have a fear of driving, I mean a big fear. I'm afraid every person is out to get me when I driving.
• I am forever online window shopping. I like putting things in a shopping cart and then putting them all back.
• I always have a random song stuck in my head. Anything will trigger a song. 
• I always paint my nails before I go to bed, which means I always end up smudging them.
• I have purchased over 50 patterns and have yet to make one piece of clothing. But, I have an incessant need to make my own clothing!
• I hate eating leftovers if they're over a day old! 
• I can get away without doing laundry (usually) 3 weeks.
• I can't stand when people get upset that I haven't seen a certain movie, don't worry, I've survied this long without watching that movie, I think I can survive a few more. But, I probably do that to other people.

9000 Views and 52 Followers!

I think that calls for some sort of happy dance or at least maybe a giveaway? I think so, I'm not sure what yet though... That's my blip for the morning. It's 7am and I need to be out of the hotel by 7:30am... I'm not even ready like at all, not even a little bit... looks like my hair will be last priority today! Have a blessed Thursday.

You know what's great about Thursday?

TOMORROW's FRIDAY!!

C'mon, you knew that was coming!

Beauty Blunders

Ok, I don’t ever talk about beauty here. I know I don’t, and there’s a reason. I just don’t ever document
my blunders…

If I’m at Walmart, Target, Walgreens, CVS, etc, I will usually pick up some new beauty product. Lip gloss, nail polish, beauty magazine. My collection of nail polishes has grown over the past two years. Well, I’m awful at painting my own nails. I wasn’t brought up wearing makeup. So, maybe that’s why I’m so enthralled with beauty products. I thought I’d share some of my beauty triumphs and blunders. As the irregular postings happen over here, one thing I can say for sure. I’m always thinking of things to blog about. I blog mainly about my successes and failures, so why not in the beauty department…

What’s on the agenda for today?? Glue on nails… This will be more comical than a review. But it is still technically a review…

I’ve always wanted to try those glue on nails. I’ve heard they aren’t too hard to do, and it’s a lot cheaper than going and getting your nails done. I’m not one for acrylic nails at a nail salon because they are a pain in the behind to take off and my nails are just ruined afterwards.

Here’s how my adventure went:

I’m currently on a work assignment in a different part of the state and I decided a few nights ago to do my nails. And, since I had the time in the evenings, why not try a glue-on nail kit. I don’t know the first thing about glue on nails, but I do know that I spent about 15 minutes trying to figure out which brand was the best for me. First I decided on the shape (short square), then I decided on the brand. I picked KISS because Nailene didn’t have the type I wanted. After choosing my nails, I found two Essie colors I had been keeping my eye on. Go Overboard and Turquoise & Caicos. Since I hadn’t packed any of my nail items, I had to also buy some nail clippers, top coat, nail file, and polish remover. Not the cheapest trip to Wally World, but I was excited.

By the time I got back to my hotel room it was pushing 9pm. I was exhausted. But, I turned on a dvd and pushed through it. I followed all the directions on the nail kit and found nails that went over my real
ones. As I was gluing my first nail, I ran into my first snag. I had accidently glued my fingers together. If you know me you would be laughing (even if you didn’t – I have comical faces), because I’m not freaking out, I’m just trying to figure out how I can pick up the bottle of nail polish remover when I’ve glued fingers from the opposite hands together. It had to have been a comical site. After trial and error (and probably an hour later), the nails are on. Then I realized they don’t look that great with the glue visible, so as tired as I was it’s time to lacquer up. Well, I’m not that dainty when it comes to painting my nails. And, I’m too lazy n to look up all the tips on how to get professional looking nails. I would get one hand done and start the next only to mess up half the other nails. I tried the two colors, but in the end, the darker one prevailed. I tried staying awake as long as I could and passed out – I decided to put on the top coat in the morning. Morning came – Way to early might I add, since I didn’t get to bed till after midnight. All was going well, I was getting ready and about to put the top coat when one of the nails on my thumb popped right off. I tried with many attempts to glue it on, but tried as I may, I couldn’t get any glue to come out. I didn’t have enough time to waste trying to get the glue to function, do I decided to remove all the nails – BIG MISTAKE. That took way too long. And as I’m typing there are still trace amounts of glue on my nail, and polish in those hard to get places.

Will I try it again? I think so, I did a little bit of research and I really need to buy glue that has a tip
applicator instead of a squeeze bottle. I may also try a different brand because KISS’s nails didn’t always fit perfectly. I wish I had taken pictures of the mistakes, but, it was pretty hideous! Tonight? I think I’m just gonna paint my own nails. Maybe I’ll stop by Sally’s –

Have you had any blunders with glue on nails? Tips? I would love to hear from you!

future plans.

someecards.com

It feels like Monday and Thursday all rolled up into 1, but a las it's Tuesday! The first day of spring y'all! I absolutely adore spring. It's probably my second favorite season (Autumn being the first). I've started back on my vegan diet. It's going great, but I really need to go grocery shopping (in my book it takes quite a while because I need to go to multiple stores.) I even took out gluten. I feel reenergized, although, I keep sneaking sugar every once in awhile. My friend Ashley took me to BOOTCAMP last night. It whooped me! I mean, I felt dead afterwards, but, I'm going to work out again tonight! I can't wait to have a new job, so I can afford a better gym like hers! 

Weekly Weigh-In will start in April, after I get back from my trip to NYC! I've gained a bit of weight since the beginning of the year, but I'm not going to let it spoil me! I'm just pressing forward. 

I want to have a fun but stress free summer ~ Here's how I hope it pans out:

Weekdays: 

Early morning jog

Work

Afternoon workout

Evening Adventure: Jazz in June, Movies on the Green, Random Escapades around Lincoln, Concerts, trips to Omaha

Sewing

Saturdays:

Cleaning

Laundry

Sewing

Reading

(Weddings)

Sundays:

Church 

Relaxing

With my job, I won't have the opportunity to travel this summer, so I will be making the most of my nights and weekends!

What do you have planned for the summer? Going on any fun trips? Exploring new continents? Let me know! I'd love to hear from you!