The Art of Letter Writing

Before I came back to the states, I was feeling a tug. Just a small one at first. A tug to stay connected to the friends I had just made. A tug to re-kindle friendships long lost forgotten. And the tug to keep up with my friends where I live.

But how? When social media is becoming more and more about "self" and less and less about being social. When sending a text doesn't quite cut it. When the person never answers on the other end. What do you do?

As a child my favorite part of my day was getting mail. I would sometimes look out the window and wait for the postman (or woman) to deliver the mail. I loved perusing through catalogues, devouring magazines, and reading answered letters. Now all I get are a few credit card offers and occasionally an unwanted catalogue.

I love writing and being written to. So, I have picked up the art again. Because it can be an art. I love writing in cursive and block letters. Decorating the envelopes and tossing them into the mailbox. I tried a few years ago, joining a few pen pal "clubs". And I even made a few friends. But it would simmer after awhile because there was no deeper connection.

Watching Jane Austen films didn't help the bug. They made me itch and long for a pen. Longing to fill blank spaces with musings and soliloquies.

But, I'm determined to keep in touch with my friends. I've been a poor example in not returning notes to even the closest of friends. Sending them notes, letters, and postcards on a whim or planned.

You don't need much to write. Is there someone you know who could use a thoughtful note? Surprise them. Looking for fun stationary? Support someone on Etsy! Or like me, you've found a whole supply of unused cards that you can fill with thoughts and dreams.

I hope this has inspired you!

The Care and Keeping of Friends

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"Keep your friendships in repair."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've had a lot of disappointment in my life. A lot of it has been my own wrong doing. And just recently have I realized that it really is me.


I know, those are harsh words for a beginning of a post, but I'm realizing brutal honesty is always the best policy...


My newest revelation! I'm not a good friend. I'm going to let that sink in for a minute. You are probably thinking, wow, this girl is crazy!?! Um, probably. (heehee)


Let me expand. In the past, I've gone on rants of how I feel mistreated and abandoned, and that people just don't know how to treat me right. And, then, it hit me! If it keeps happening over and over again, maybe I am really part of the problem.


How can I complain about how other people treat me when I'm hit-or-missing the ball. Here are my self realizations:


1. I complain that people never call me and that people are always forgetting or changing their plans with me. I DO THE SAME THING! If I don't feel like hanging out, I will cancel. Period. A lot of times I just don't give a (you know what). I really don't. It's not that I don't care about that other person, but I just don't feel like taking time out of my day to make time for them (wow, honesty is hard). And, I'm not one to call people. I do occasionally, but that's when I seem to get hurt.


2. I get too excited when people ask to hang out, and then become very upset when said people cancel the plans. Because I do live at home, and I don't have a car, and right now I'm not enjoying life to it's fullest (friends, job, etc.) I do get overly excited when someone I haven't heard from in awhile or who has previously put me under the bus asks to hang out. But, I betcha people feel the same way when I've done the same thing to them!


3. I would rather not call anyone and feel sorry for myself then put myself out there and get my feelings hurt. That is somehow completely backwards! How does that even work? So, there's a fifty-fifty chance the other person will say no, but there's that other half where they say yes. So, feeling sorry for myself all the time is going to make a difference?? Wow, I have some messed up psyche!


4. I dwell on the negative. Enough said.




10 Things I Can Do To Change That:


1. Truly forgive the people who have hurt me, intentionally and unintentionally. There's no need to go up to that person and say, "I forgive you for that one time you blew me off." Just move on. Carrying around bitterness isn't fun, or healthy.


2. Don't give up. Don't give up to try and reaching that one out of touch friend. Only throw in the towel, when you feel like you've done everything.


3. Don't flake out. Simple as that. If you do have to change plans, make sure you've already set new ones. No one wants a flaky friend!


4. Remember birthdays! I'm horrible at this one. Every year I say, I will remember birthdays and try and send them something special in the mail. If I'm bad at sending mail period, what will make me send cards? (Another post on this one later)


5. Be more intentional about calling or texting. If I say I'm going to do it, just do it!


6. Plan events. Have a game night at a local coffee shop. Plan a movie outing. Laser quest anyone?


7. When a friend is going through something, truly be there for them. Make them a break up kit, help them bake those 10 thousand cookies, give them a literal shoulder to cry on, etc.


8. Find hobbies that correlate with your friends. Start reading a book together, running together, making food together, have pinterest parties!


9.  Even if a friend is awful to you (then they probably aren't a friend in the first place), don't talk about them. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to your integrity. I know I've done this before, but, it doesn't get me anywhere.


10. Send words of encouragement. Emails, letters, texts, yes even Facebook posts or messages.


That's it. None of these caused any harm or damage. What are some other things you can do to preserve and cultivate friendships! I'd love to hear from you!