I'm so behind...
I feel rather burnt out. Not so much because of everything I've done, but everything I have to do.
I don't usually get personal on my blog, but I think it's time to show some vulnerability.
I feel my life is a bit inadequate, and I feel the steps to make it not so, are hard.
I've had to make some big decisions and let things go in the past week.
I've had to learn that just because somethings makes you feel good doesn't mean it's right for you.
What am I talking about?
Boys and my future...
I'm not going to go into much detail but it's like this...
I like Boy A, Boy A doesn't know who he likes. Boy B likes me. I don't reciprocate Boy B's feelings. So, instead of trying to vie for attention, I decided to cut off both boys. Less drama, less work, less mess.
I'm not sure what God wants me to do next... I feel like I'm so far away from where I need to be...
I have dreams: owning a bakery, singing, acting.
But, what are God's dreams for my life right now?
I DON'T KNOW!!
Sometimes life is hard...
I've become an insomniac... Even when I don't have any caffeine, because the weight of my worries and problems are so heavy, I am unable to get rest.
I know what you might say...
"Don't sweat it Ren. Things will come together."
"Give your problems to Jesus, and you will find peace."
Well, I don't sweat it, but it seems to sweat me. I do give my problems to Jesus, and I have joy. But, I still don't have answers...
This is a very long post for me, and things still aren't getting done. It's time to just write a huge list of things that NEED to get done, and maybe once those things are accomplished clarity will follow.
Lord, give me strength to do what You have called me to do. Give me peace so that I can hear Your voice clearly. Give me joy so that I might spread Your love. Give me love, so that I may know who I am in You.
Thanks for reading. I don't apologize for the long post.
This post is not:
Me giving up blogging
Me throwing in the towel
This post is:
Me writing out my weaknesses
Me sharing unshared parts of me
Me needed an outlet to unwind
28 Days of Love will continue this evening!