08 February 2011

Sometimes Life is Hard

I'm so behind...
Letter Writing
Valentine Making
Goal Making

I feel rather burnt out. Not so much because of everything I've done, but everything I have to do.

I don't usually get personal on my blog, but I think it's time to show some vulnerability.

I feel my life is a bit inadequate, and I feel the steps to make it not so, are hard.

I've had to make some big decisions and let things go in the past week.

I've had to learn that just because somethings makes you feel good doesn't mean it's right for you.

What am I talking about?

Boys and my future...

I'm not going to go into much detail but it's like this...
I like Boy A, Boy A doesn't know who he likes. Boy B likes me. I don't reciprocate Boy B's feelings. So, instead of trying to vie for attention, I decided to cut off both boys. Less drama, less work, less mess.

My Future:
I'm not sure what God wants me to do next... I feel like I'm so far away from where I need to be...
I have dreams: owning a bakery, singing, acting.
But, what are God's dreams for my life right now?

Sometimes life is hard...

I've become an insomniac... Even when I don't have any caffeine, because the weight of my worries and problems are so heavy, I am unable to get rest.
 I know what you might say...
"Don't sweat it Ren. Things will come together."
"Give your problems to Jesus, and you will find peace."

Well, I don't sweat it, but it seems to sweat me. I do give my problems to Jesus, and I have joy. But, I still don't have answers...

This is a very long post for me, and things still aren't getting done. It's time to just write a huge list of things that NEED to get done, and maybe once those things are accomplished clarity will follow.

Lord, give me strength to do what You have called me to do. Give me peace so that I can hear Your voice clearly. Give me joy so that I might spread Your love. Give me love, so that I may know who I am in You.

Thanks for reading. I don't apologize for the long post.

This post is not:
Me giving up blogging
Me throwing in the towel

This post is:
Me writing out my weaknesses
Me sharing unshared parts of me
Me needed an outlet to unwind

28 Days of Love will continue this evening!


  1. Hang in there lady! Love you! -Jenna P.

  2. All you need is to define your purpose....set priorities and then stick to them and not let "life" get you side tracked. Easier said than done and that's why you need someone to hold you accountable. I love you Lauren and know God has big plans for your life. This season is one everyone goes thru....you will one day build on the stones you are laying in your foundation! Would love to talk sometime if you think I could be of any help!!! Life might be hard but remember....you don't want the alternative and life will become very good with persistence and putting His will FIRST!! Pastor Susan

  3. Thanks for sharing, i think you've taken a first step towards being accountable by honestly laying it all on the table. It IS hard, and it is a season that will pass --- into better and better things. Keep on! =)

    At least you care enough about God's plan for your life to seek Him. As you know, He'll most certainly answer =) I'm waiting on one myself, and that's definitely been a life-altering challenge.

    Praying for you! God has given you many talents and giftings, as well as a heart sensitive to Him. Can't wait to see the blessings He pours in and through you! =)

  4. Behind every rain cloud, the sun is shining. I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. Know that you are a beautiful and very loved, wonderful, inspiring woman. There is a right guy, probably going through the same kinds of feelings. You both just haven't met yet. Stay true to yourself and know that if you ever need anything, even if it's a hug or a piece of chocolate, you can call me. Love you lots.