Why Quitting Isn't an Option

I've tried to lose weight. I've even shared a bit on my blog, but after a few minor hiccups I get back into the rut of self-doubt.

But, I can't quit. Being overweight runs in my family. Diabetes runs in my family. Heart disease runs in my family. Get the picture? Yeah, me too. I'm about to leave home for 6 months and I don't want to leave here feeling defeated.

Here's my cry, my plea to myself. Enough is enough. I'm letting go of fear, self-doubt and the pity party that has clung on to me (or should I say, I have clung onto it) for dear life!

This weekend will be filled with researching and planning. Next week I plan to do a juice fast, and the week after that I'm ready to dive head first into a new and better lifestyle!

I can't do this on my own. Encouragement is wanted. If you have tips or words of hope, please share!

Happy birthday USA

God bless America!

Musings

Today, was just a typical day at work. I was kept busy the entire time. I was asked if I wanted to go on a trip for work that would last 30-60 days.

I really wanted the money. This was an answer to prayer, or so I thought. I didn't go. There were many factors involved to get that answer.

#1 I need to get ready for YWAM that will be here before I know it.
#2 God said I was to rely fully on Him. I could hear His voice urging me to stay.
#3 that would have given me very little time to spend with my family.

This made me realize. I need to always be ready for whatever God is calling me too. Not slowly ready, not kinda. I've been doing that. I don't even know what YWAM school I'm going too and its in two months.

What are you procrastinating, as soon as you do it you will have accomplished something major?

Life is good.

Deleted my Facebook. What a weight lifted off my shoulders. I feel laziness calling me back to a life of leisure. But I hear another voice, Jesus, calling me to a life of love and action, void of lethargy.

Life should never get in the way of Jesus, because Jesus is my life.

How do you counteract the "lazies?"

new perspectives

I've always had problems keeping up with a blog. It's because I've had no direction, but recently God has given me vision.

In in a previous post I talked about how superficial I had become. This blog shouldn't talk about material things, but the things God has put into my life.
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This past week I went to Desperation Conference (google it!). It was my seventh time going, and it didn't disappoint. Here are my thoughts right after the conference ended.

As always, I'm sad to see Desperation end. It's such a great atmosphere to seek and hear the voice of God. But for some, it's a crutch. You get this mountain top experience, where everything is so easy. And life isn't easy. Every year I hear God speak to me and every year as soon as I get home, I choose to ignore God. Why have I feared living for the One who chose to die for me? Things of this world seem so petty. God has called me for so much more. Before (going to) YWAM, I need to purge myself of all the distractions and junk. And give up the things that take the place of Jesus. He [Jesus] has called me to fast and give up social media (bye bye Facebook). He has called me to give up and surrender my thoughts, to give up wasting time on movies and tv (or hulu/netflix). To stop wasting money on silly items that bring me no joy. The only thing I should be focused is Jesus. To know him, and make him known. Not shopping, not social media, not media. No more living for myself. I hate being so selfish! I hate ignoring YOU (God) and seeking enjoyment in things that don't sustain me. No more Hulu, no more Netflix - nore more facebook - no more shopping - I will spend the rest of my life in total surrender!

Procrastinators of the World...

Ok, I have to be honest with you...

Ok, I'm always honest...

I had a very, very productive week. Until today. I feel like I'm falling apart at the seems. Not spiritually, not emotionally, not even mentally, but physically. I've been going for so long, that the energizer bunny  that adventured out, has very subtly crawled back in.

God has revealed so much to me this week. (mainly last night)

But, one thing is for sure. I'm a bit superficial. And when you learn new things (or revelations... I like that word better), you get tired. Like really tired. Like lazy don't-give-a-care-to-anything-tired.

I keep making promises to God and myself that I can't keep. I think God's the only one we can and should fully trust. Not even ourselves.

This post seems like it's all over the place. But, I'm back in full circle to where I started. My productive week has run back the opposite way of all the runners running their race, looking for a place to hide and rest. There are so many things I must do tonight, which will make for a late night, and tomorrow's early morning will be even earlier, which makes tomorrow an even longer day.

I say this all to say, even when you're tired giving up is the last thing you should do. I've been doing it for far too long. Even when I was tired this week, and didn't feel like pushing through, I still pushed (harder even). Today has been a different story. I'm tired of pushing. I'm tired of tasking.

I'm yawning as I say this. So, here's to my last morsel of procrastination. I'm shaking it off! Ok, back to the task(s) at hand!

Do you procrastinate or push through?

C is for Conference (one week)

I'm linking up with these two blogs: Miss Indie and Elizabeth Hayley

Obsessing over Subscription boxes... I know, I'm completely behind the times. Subscription boxes are boxes filled with samples. The samples are usually chosen for you, after filling out a survey I subscribed to bulu box, all about health and fitness. I got my box free for being one of the first 500 subscribers. I believe they are still offering that promotion. Totally got hooked up! Got my box the other day. Need to make some time to do a review! Then there's birchbox. This is a beauty box. I've been seeing this everywhere around the blogosphere. Just hadn't gotten around to signing up aka I was on the waiting list. It should arrive by Thursday! I'm totally stoked! Then today, I spent some more money! I know, shocking? It's called (wait, hold on, I have to check my email, oh geez) Beauty Army, you get to pick out 6 samples and then they send them to you. Beachmint products. There's this whole line of subscription services you can sign up for in this Beachmint empire. They include: StyleMint, ShoeMint, HouseMint, BeautyMint, BodyMint, IntiMint. Thankfully, I haven't fallen off the wagon and gone crazy in ordering things from these websites. I haven't ordered a single thing. But, I've been close, more than once!

Working on YWAM APPS... I'm finally getting my act together. It's been a long road, but I gave myself an incentive. I had to get all my applications finished and submitted by 9pm on June 25th, I can go to Jazz in June (June 26th) and I get to buy something for myself $30 or under. Friendship Bracelets... I really want some bracelets to adorn my arms this summer!

Thinking about my face... there are more mysterious bumps appearing. I'm hoping it's just irritation or a bug bite, :/

Listening to Relevant Podcast... This is seriously the best thing! It makes me laugh, smile, think, and quickly pass an hour.

Wishing for Desperation Conference. One more week!

Update on My Face

Remember this post?

My appointment was this past Monday (I know, I'm horrible for not writing this right after it happened.)

Well...

The biopsy showed it to be benign lymphoma. Phew. I wasn't worried. But, still, I'm glad it's nothing worse.

The appointment went splendid. We planned on surgery to extract this mass and get on with the day. For added measure we pumped my cheek up with some cortisone. She said it would hurt. It didn't!

So, thank the Lord above, all is well. I even got a call letting me know my surgery was canceled. We're going to keep pumping my face with cortisone until this thing says adios!

It's gone down considerably! I must say, God is looking out for me!

What are your praise reports this week?

Saturday

I don't blog during the weekends. Usually because I'm off doing something. But, today, I'm home and I may have just woken up less than an hour ago.

I have quite a few things I want to accomplish this afternoon. But, my body's in a state of comatose. My dreams last night were bizzare and left me wanting to stay in dream land vs the real world. My goal, which is attainable is to get all my "grunt work" accomplished so I have a few hours to spend sewing. Something I just haven't made time for. As well as a run before I head out to Celebrate Lincoln tonight! I will get to see an old college roommate! I'm very excited about it.

What are your weekend plans? Also, what are some hints for a non photographer remember to take pictures to document life?

B is for Boisterious

I'm linking up with these two blogs: Miss Indie and Elizabeth Hayley

Obsessing over Dr. Who. Seriously, this show is fantastic! If you can get past the first episode! I mean, I've never liked science fiction this much. It always scared me. Now, I can't wait to play the next episode. I'm watching it right now! I really like my new thirty one bag. It was rather pricey but very good quality. Wedges. I just got my toes done, so I feel I can share my feet with the world... But, in all seriousness I've purchased three new pairs! Can't wait to show them off. Maxi skirts/dresses. They are awesome and great to wear with wedges! Diet Dr. Pepper. I can't get enough of this stuff. My sister asked if she could taste it. She hates diet and said it tasted just like the real thing. HAH! The real thing she says. 

Working on getting my act together when it comes to eating right, drinking water and exercising. Songs for my friends wedding next weekend. An overdue mother's day present for my mother. Creating new outfits. 

Thinking about how I need to work on YWAM applications. Finishing my room. Getting rid of all my junk.

Listening to Old school Justin Timberlake. When does he drop his new album?

Wishing for summer nights with old friends.