Procrastinators of the World...

Ok, I have to be honest with you...

Ok, I'm always honest...

I had a very, very productive week. Until today. I feel like I'm falling apart at the seems. Not spiritually, not emotionally, not even mentally, but physically. I've been going for so long, that the energizer bunny  that adventured out, has very subtly crawled back in.

God has revealed so much to me this week. (mainly last night)

But, one thing is for sure. I'm a bit superficial. And when you learn new things (or revelations... I like that word better), you get tired. Like really tired. Like lazy don't-give-a-care-to-anything-tired.

I keep making promises to God and myself that I can't keep. I think God's the only one we can and should fully trust. Not even ourselves.

This post seems like it's all over the place. But, I'm back in full circle to where I started. My productive week has run back the opposite way of all the runners running their race, looking for a place to hide and rest. There are so many things I must do tonight, which will make for a late night, and tomorrow's early morning will be even earlier, which makes tomorrow an even longer day.

I say this all to say, even when you're tired giving up is the last thing you should do. I've been doing it for far too long. Even when I was tired this week, and didn't feel like pushing through, I still pushed (harder even). Today has been a different story. I'm tired of pushing. I'm tired of tasking.

I'm yawning as I say this. So, here's to my last morsel of procrastination. I'm shaking it off! Ok, back to the task(s) at hand!

Do you procrastinate or push through?

C is for Conference (one week)

I'm linking up with these two blogs: Miss Indie and Elizabeth Hayley

Obsessing over Subscription boxes... I know, I'm completely behind the times. Subscription boxes are boxes filled with samples. The samples are usually chosen for you, after filling out a survey I subscribed to bulu box, all about health and fitness. I got my box free for being one of the first 500 subscribers. I believe they are still offering that promotion. Totally got hooked up! Got my box the other day. Need to make some time to do a review! Then there's birchbox. This is a beauty box. I've been seeing this everywhere around the blogosphere. Just hadn't gotten around to signing up aka I was on the waiting list. It should arrive by Thursday! I'm totally stoked! Then today, I spent some more money! I know, shocking? It's called (wait, hold on, I have to check my email, oh geez) Beauty Army, you get to pick out 6 samples and then they send them to you. Beachmint products. There's this whole line of subscription services you can sign up for in this Beachmint empire. They include: StyleMint, ShoeMint, HouseMint, BeautyMint, BodyMint, IntiMint. Thankfully, I haven't fallen off the wagon and gone crazy in ordering things from these websites. I haven't ordered a single thing. But, I've been close, more than once!

Working on YWAM APPS... I'm finally getting my act together. It's been a long road, but I gave myself an incentive. I had to get all my applications finished and submitted by 9pm on June 25th, I can go to Jazz in June (June 26th) and I get to buy something for myself $30 or under. Friendship Bracelets... I really want some bracelets to adorn my arms this summer!

Thinking about my face... there are more mysterious bumps appearing. I'm hoping it's just irritation or a bug bite, :/

Listening to Relevant Podcast... This is seriously the best thing! It makes me laugh, smile, think, and quickly pass an hour.

Wishing for Desperation Conference. One more week!

Update on My Face

Remember this post?

My appointment was this past Monday (I know, I'm horrible for not writing this right after it happened.)

Well...

The biopsy showed it to be benign lymphoma. Phew. I wasn't worried. But, still, I'm glad it's nothing worse.

The appointment went splendid. We planned on surgery to extract this mass and get on with the day. For added measure we pumped my cheek up with some cortisone. She said it would hurt. It didn't!

So, thank the Lord above, all is well. I even got a call letting me know my surgery was canceled. We're going to keep pumping my face with cortisone until this thing says adios!

It's gone down considerably! I must say, God is looking out for me!

What are your praise reports this week?

Saturday

I don't blog during the weekends. Usually because I'm off doing something. But, today, I'm home and I may have just woken up less than an hour ago.

I have quite a few things I want to accomplish this afternoon. But, my body's in a state of comatose. My dreams last night were bizzare and left me wanting to stay in dream land vs the real world. My goal, which is attainable is to get all my "grunt work" accomplished so I have a few hours to spend sewing. Something I just haven't made time for. As well as a run before I head out to Celebrate Lincoln tonight! I will get to see an old college roommate! I'm very excited about it.

What are your weekend plans? Also, what are some hints for a non photographer remember to take pictures to document life?

B is for Boisterious

I'm linking up with these two blogs: Miss Indie and Elizabeth Hayley

Obsessing over Dr. Who. Seriously, this show is fantastic! If you can get past the first episode! I mean, I've never liked science fiction this much. It always scared me. Now, I can't wait to play the next episode. I'm watching it right now! I really like my new thirty one bag. It was rather pricey but very good quality. Wedges. I just got my toes done, so I feel I can share my feet with the world... But, in all seriousness I've purchased three new pairs! Can't wait to show them off. Maxi skirts/dresses. They are awesome and great to wear with wedges! Diet Dr. Pepper. I can't get enough of this stuff. My sister asked if she could taste it. She hates diet and said it tasted just like the real thing. HAH! The real thing she says. 

Working on getting my act together when it comes to eating right, drinking water and exercising. Songs for my friends wedding next weekend. An overdue mother's day present for my mother. Creating new outfits. 

Thinking about how I need to work on YWAM applications. Finishing my room. Getting rid of all my junk.

Listening to Old school Justin Timberlake. When does he drop his new album?

Wishing for summer nights with old friends.

A is for Absence

I know, I think about blogging all the time. But, blogging is an art. I'm still a dabbler, not yet an artist!

So many new things in my life! I have so many photos I need to upload and stories to tell.

Where to begin.

Let's start with my face...

Face?

Yes, my face. You see about a month ago a "pimple" appeared on my face, after what looked like a bug bite. I didn't think much of it, except it was annoying and on the larger side. Two weeks later...

It's still there! Yep, with no signs of slowing down. My dad thought maybe I should go to Urgent Care. So, my mom and I darted there to check things out. The RN or whoever the "non-doctor" was barely looked at it and proclaimed it a "cyst". I asked her what could be done, and she declared she wasn't the one to work on it, and made an appointment with a dermatologist (in real life that word is a more difficult word for me to say). I asked how long till that appointment and she said around 2-3 weeks. I exclaimed, "That long?"

One week later, I had my appointment. Again, I met with "the nurse", I believe she was a nurse practitioner, very nice. She weighed the pros and cons and decided to take a culture to see if the growing mass on my face was indeed staph infection. Before I knew what was happening, the chair was being lowered and a needle was approaching my face. NOVOCAINE! For all you out there in reader land, I have never experienced this drug. (Cavity free for 25 years and counting). She said it wouldn't hurt. It did. She also didn't say there would be discomfort after the numbing wore off. There was. I was given a prescription for antibiotics, a handful of dot band-aids and an appointment in two weeks.

A week later they called. It wasn't staph.

The bump was a tad smaller but it started turning red again and looked quite inflamed.

Yesterday. Went to my appointment and "the nurse" tried not to look concerned. She was about to pump a few shots of cortisone to reduce the swelling, but then stopped and started thinking out loud. She then took a 180 an decided to take a sample for a biopsy. Before, I could say "dermatologist," I was whisked away into the magic wonderland of numb cheek. This time there were stitches involved. When I was done, I looked like a patient after a small plastic surgery procedure. People stared. A lot. I actually liked the attention. Especially the children. They couldn't stop staring.

Last night, I took off the huge bandage. I looked like the beginnings of Frankenstein. The stitches come out in a week. The test comes back in week. The wedding I sing in is in less than 2 weeks.

I'm just praying this "cyst" isn't going to be much more of a nuisance, it's been here long enough!

What juicy story do you have for me?

My Summer

I have so many fun ideas I want to do for Summer, but with my job as chaotic as it is, I'm not sure exactly what I will get to do. Here are things on the Calendar so far!

June: 14th - 16th - Wedding Weekend with my friend Lauren - I have the lovely honor of singing at her wedding

27th - 30th - Desperation! The best conference in the world! Just sayin!

July: Empty
August: Empty
September: YWAM

Wow, so I need to fill my summer a bit. Here are some things I'm looking forward to:
Summer Concerts/Festivals: Celebrate Lincoln Ethnic Festival, Jazz in June, Maha Music Festival in August (Omaha)
Farmer's Market(s)
Picnics
Road trips to KC
State Fair(s) - Iowa (August 9th -19th), Nebraska (August 24th - September 3rd)
Omaha Day Trips
College World Series, Salt Dog Games
Amusement Park Road Trip??

June 8th - The Midland Band (Bourbon)
June 21st - Orion Walsh (The Zoo Bar)
July 3rd - Avett Brothers
July 24th - Logic
July 25th - Childish Gambino (Kansas City Mo)
August 1 - The Black Keys
August 5th - Gavin Degraw
August 7/10 - Coldplay (Roadtrip anyone?)

Wednesday

If you haven't read yesterday's post, go read it. I'll wait. Ok, ready?

Yesterday morning was hard. Really hard. But after my realization/revelation, I can see clearly now.

 Here's how yesterday went:

woke up (630am)

went to worksite (second day in a row to be the first one there -- that is rare)

ate a mid-morning snack of m&ms

took a picture of the skyline/horizon

came to the hotel ate lunch (leftover from Ricardo's)

picked up a the brand new flavor of starbucks frapp (accidently took a little kids -- I felt really bad -- I didn't drink mine till he got his new one)

went back to worksite

returned to the hotel (had to take shower because it was so HUMID)

went out to eat at Bailey's with the co-workers (amazing steak dinner)

then went to the movies! (the movie wasn't for awhile, so we played some video games. I’m not very good at those shooting ones!) -- OMG 21 Jumpstreet is hilarious -- WARNING -- It is very inappropriate but sooooooooooooo funny. My co-worker did end up tagging along. We laughed so hard. I kept choking after I laughed, he complained of a tummy ache from laughing so hard.

went back to the hotel, ate some popcorn and took some sleeping pills -- I was out

all pictures were taken with my phone through instagram -- follow me @lmwilliams2009

tuesday // singleness

This blogging thing is getting easier. Much easier. my Tuesday was not as eventful as Monday, but here's what I did!

woke up at the holiday inn (actually at 6am)

picked up a scooters (iced coffee with a shot of espresso and milk -- disgust)

went to worksite

tried crystal light ice tea (lemon flavor)

lunch in the hotel room (wings from last night)

picked up big cup at the local gas station

came back to work

dinner at ricardo's

chilled in hotel room working on church work while watching drive (do not recommend movie)

restless sleep

I told you it was uneventful...

But, what I'm really here to talk about is singleness. You probably know by now, that I'm single. I'm not rejoicing or complaining. There are moments in my life where I'm sad that I have no significant other and then there are times, like this morning when I'm glad I'm single.

I'm tired. I mean physically and mentally tired. I haven't had much time to find rest. I have so much caffiene in the morning and afternoon to keep me going, that my mind is still racing at the end of the day. So, when my body is ready to shut down, my brain hasn't quite got the message.

Where are you going with this Lauren, you may ask. This morning (Wednesday), I was tired, like don't talk to, look at or think of me tired. Yesterday, I had made the proclamation that I was going to treat myself to a nice steak dinner and then go to a movie (21 Jump Street -- Is it any good, has anyone seen it?). My co-worker says, "Oh I may join you for that movie." And then proceeds to ask the rest of our co-workers if they would like to come. First of all, I don't mind if you come, but I had declared I was going alone and it would be my first movie alone in the theaters! It had taken a lot of time for me to come to terms that I can go to a movie alone. But, alas, no one else wanted to go.

This morning, I realized I was getting agitated about the smallest things. Why? Because I'm tired! I'm really tired. The kind of tired where all I want to do is go curl up in a ball and cry -- Because I'm so tired! I think I already stated I was tired. At the moment of my agitation, I wanted to look at my co-worker and say, I'd rather go to this movie alone. I'm an introvert by nature, extrovert by choice. I just haven't had enough time to recharge -- alone! That's when it hit me, I'm selfish. In those small moments of complete exhaustion I have no patience. None. Not even a smidge. My stress levels rise to boiling point. My words are few and biting. My sarcasm becomes a mean of hurting vs. a mean of witt. Deep breathing works. No wonder I'm still single! When I'm dating someone, I spend a lot of time and emotion on that one person, and I snap. Really, I do. Every time. I get so worked up about the smallest things because I'm so TIRED!

I write all this to say -- I'm single for a reason. A God reason. That reason being, I need to learn to go with the flow when I'm "give up" tired. My patience has grown. My temper has softened. My temperment has improved. My tolerance level of annoyance is at an all-time low -- Except when I'm tired.

Whew, writing this all out has calmed me down to state of pure comatose. It's like I just ate that candy bar I shouldn't have eaten and that moment triggers the pleasure centers in my brain, which are doing a happy dance. It's always a good feeling when you've discovered a problem and a solution.

Of course, I'm not perfect. I do have moments of terror (me being the terror) when I'm not tired, but they are few and very far between. But, the inner turmoil during deep exhaustion has been an ongoing struggle for as long as I can remember.

Is he coming to the movie with me tonight? I'm not sure. And it doesn't matter.

Boy, am I tired.

Now, I just need to solve the not sleeping problem.

Monday

My monday was fantastic!

woke up

finished packing

went to walgreens - got some needed makeup

stopped at starbucks -- iced coffee (i <3 summer)

drove to norfolk -- in record time (norfolk nebraska)

listened to some awesome podcasts -- Relevant Magazine and Boundless.org

stopped at jimmy johns

went to worksite (worked a total of 9 hrs -- 2.5 drive)

started a very interesting book

checked into the hotel -- (priority club status)

went out to eat (big red keno -- it was the closest place to eat)

had wings -- teryakki

chilled in the hotel room -- watched horrible bosses

proofread a co-workers paper

fell asleep

All in all, my monday made me smile!

How was your monday?
Have instagram? follow me @lmwilliams2009 and twitter @ren_was_here